Five Steps to set your yearly intention
My 2023 Intention

Each year, I set a new intention.  Something that carries me through the year with focus.  I intend to be Present and Connected this year, and I’ll tell you why.  

Last year, in August, I made a planned trip back to the US.  I was excited to attend my first Coach’s Retreat with my mentors and friends from HCI and visit family and friends.

Before I left the island for my long trip back to the US from Guam, I set my intention for the trip: To be Present and Connected wherever I was and with whoever I was with.

I repeated this intention to myself repeatedly, like a mantra, and shared it with anyone who asked.

Life Coach Melissa Holman
We were playing a trust building game where my partner posed me however she saw fit.
First Stop- San Diego

The first stop on my trip was the HCI Retreat.  Since enrolling in the school, I have dreamed of being able to attend an event in person.  This was going to be my one-and-only shot!  So, I took it!

I had a couple of great roommates, met many people, and coached my ass off!

With my present and connected intention firmly in place, I made a point of showing up in every single interaction I had; whether with my roommates, other coaches that I already knew from working together in class, coaches that I had never met before, or the mentor coaches that were there for us.

When she asked how the retreat went, I jokingly told my coach that I had never moved.  Once I sat down or stood somewhere, I had coaches coming to me, sometimes standing in line, to be coached.  I spent every moment I wasn’t sitting under the teaching of Carey and Stacy, coaching other coaches.  She stopped me and told me to think about what I had just said:

I was in a room full of coaches, and they were coming to me for coaching.

Wow!  That was humbling.

I’m pretty certain this was the only picture taken of me during the retreat.  With my intention to be present and connected firmly established, I didn’t want to take pictures the whole time and miss out on any connections.

Next Stop: Paradise

My oldest son used to be a professional photographer.  He’s the one who told me that people miss out on so much when they’re behind a camera instead of being in the moment.  I have taken that wisdom to heart.

My next stop on the trip was to see my oldest and his family.  I spent about a week being present and connected with them.  

He is a missionary with Reach Global Crisis Response and has been living and working alongside a local church in Paradise, California, for the last few years. 

I spent about a week hanging out with them and enjoying time with my grands.  I even conducted an experiment that I started on the first day I was there.  

The Experiment

As soon as I arrived, of course, the hugs began.  After all, it has been three years since I’ve seen them!

While hugging my oldest grand, I told him that he had to end the hug.  I would not end any hug at all while we were together.  It was up to them to decide when it was over.  

There is a concept called attunement.  This is how we form relationships.  Attunement is critical for everyone, especially infants.  When we attune with our infants, they learn that the world is safe.  Without attunement, an infant will grow into a child that doesn’t know where they fit into the world.  Attunement is critical for us to become well-adjusted adults.  

Even though my grands aren’t infants, I wanted to establish attunement with them while we were together.  I must tell you, some of our hugs lasted several minutes, and I was totally OK with that!

I extended this experiment to my son and his wife too.  There aren’t any pictures of our time together, but there’s tons of attunement as I chose to be present and connected with them daily.

Florida, Here I Come!

After a whirlwind stop in Texas to hang out with a couple of my best girlies, I headed to Florida to visit my dad.  

I honestly didn’t think I would get to see my dad again after I moved to Guam, so seeing him on this trip was golden!

Not ten minutes after arriving at his home, we received a call from my brother that he was in the hospital and had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. 

My intention to be present and connected was getting ready to take front and center!

Transformational Life Coach Melissa Holman
What about You?

Do you set an intention for yourself each year?  This isn’t the same as a New Year’s Resolution.  I’m not too fond of resolutions because they don’t work.  

Our brains weren’t designed for absolutes.  There is a part of your brain, a powerful part, that constantly seeks out comfort, repetition, the same ol’ same ol’.  That part of your brain abhors when you tell it that the way it’s been operating doesn’t work, and you want to change it.  This is why resolutions don’t work.  That part of your brain will seek out what it knows, whether eating junk food, not going to the gym, continuing in dysfunctional relationships, or seeing the worst in yourself and others.  

Support for the broken, exhausted, hopeless and overwhelmed | Lemon Balm Coaching

Five Steps to Set your own intention

  1. Decide on your intention.  Your intention should be stated in the present, not looking to the future.  Believe it’s already happened.  
  2. Make sure your intention is clear, not ambiguous, like I want to be a better person…how do you want to be better?
  3. State your intention positively.  For example, not “I don’t want to eat junk food anymore” but instead “I want to eat at least one vegetarian meal each week.”
  4. KISMIF: Keep it simple & Make it fun.  It’s no Bueno when you’re trying to make positive changes that are no fun!
  5. Shift those limiting beliefs: anything that’s holding you back from stepping forward into your intention needs some serious attention.

Intentions help you stay focused!  They don’t set you up for failure but for success in every area of your life.

Do you set a yearly intention? 

Do you need help shifting your limiting beliefs?

Lemme know!